Wednesday 26 November 2014

#5. Orbs and self protection.

This challenge is the challenge that inspired this blog.

When I started going through all of The Diva's challenges from the start I had planned to just do that. Sit on my couch. Drink some wine. Do all the challenges. Then I read this challenge and got weepy. Yes. I started crying. 

I still hadn't met Laura at this point. But we had something in common. We were both keeping something secret. At this point in our journeys with small children that were not well we were not sharing the gravity of our kids situation. 

In this challenge she talks about the realities of a preemie baby which are really difficult realities. But at this point what she's not telling you is its probably not so much the preemie, but all of the very serious breathing and swallowing issues that can happen if you have Moebius syndrome. The fear of whether or not your child is going to make it. 

When I saw the picture that Laura posted of herself and Artoo I can see that she's scared. That she's stressed. That she's ready to do exactly what she says at the bottom of the post.... to curl up in the fetal position in the corner and hide for a bit. Escape the reality of life that is coming. Mourning the loss of having a typical journey through life and having to accept that you're going down an unmarked path without anything to prepare you. I know that Laura was using Zentangle as an escape at this point... a place where she could put her brain down on paper. For 15-20 minutes a clear head, focused on something that wasn't fear.

So when she's talking about self protectiveness it really got to me. She was protecting herself, her family... doing everything she could to protect everyone which is emotionally exhausting. On her challenge this week I see that she's protecting her family... telling everyone a little about what's going on, but not everything... because everything is scary, and it's hard to admit that your child has something that might kill them. It's like Voldemort. If you don't speak it's name... maybe it will go away (it wont). Maybe if you don't tell people it's not real (it is). Maybe if you just pretend it's not there it won't come to haunt you (it will).

So yeah. This challenge was an emotional experience for me. It took me back there. Way back to the days where I lived in denial that my daughter was not as sick as the docs were telling me. I lived in denial for the first year... not even telling some of my closest friends and family what was going on.  I didn't have the answers to the questions I imagined I would be asked. And to this day, I still haven't shared E-Bean's full story with a lot of people. I'm still afraid of our Voldemort. I still try to pretend it doesn't exist... but it does. I'm still drawing orbs in my brain trying to protect myself. Only a few know exactly what's going on.. and The Diva is one of them. So when I hit this point in her challenges when she started divulging a little more info... it really touched me, and made me call her because it was our kids that brought us together.

March 14, 2014 The Diva Challenge #5, Orbs
A picture from our life on the day of this challenge. January 17, 2011



Wednesday 19 November 2014

#4. Starry Eyed Surprised


Another awesome challenge from The Diva! I really enjoyed this challenge too, but struggled with the idea of having a star in the tile. When I first placed the star and laid out my string I was certain that I was going to absolutely hate my completed Zentangle. It turned out that I loved the tile and you'll see a pattern as a border that I've grown to absolutely love. You'll see that pattern in a lot of my tiles but I can't for the life of me remember what it's called. If you recognize it please tell me in the comments!

I got all squealy and pinchey cheeky when I saw the picture of Laura's eldest boy. He's so young and so small in the picture! He's such an amazing young man now. So much older and so handsome! 

Here is my attempt at Laura's fourth ever Zentangle challenge, Starry  Eyed Surprise. 
#3. Starry Eyed Surprise

This Challenge was posted January 10, 2011 and I completed it on March 14. 2014.


My munchkin's 'newborn' photos. She's 4.5 months old here! Photo taken Jan 8, 2011

Wednesday 12 November 2014

#3. Eyes Wide Shut

I loved this challenge! The idea behind The Diva's challenge this week was to create the string with your eyes closed. I loved making this tile so much that I sometimes close my eyes when I create the strings on other Zentangles.

Also, I LOVED Laura's tile. I loved how the delicate tiles are surrounded by the bold outline. 

Here is my attempt at this challenge. 
"Eyes Wide Shut"

This challenge was back in January of 2011. Laura and I still hadn't met yet! I'm still very proud of Laura for creating her challenge blog and sticking to it. No matter what, she always has a post ready to challenge her followers every Wednesday. No. Matter. What. I find this so admirable. Last week E-Bean fell ill and had to spend seven nights in the hospital. I wasn't able to get my third tile up because I didn't make the time to do it while she was sick. But as I write this now, I think about how often Artoo would have been sick yet she still managed to get her challenge up every week!

Now, for my weekly throwback. Here's a picture from my Camera Roll from January 3, 2011.


Thursday 6 November 2014

A postponement!

Hello lovelies!

Challenge #3 will go live next week. I know I said I would have it ready this morning, but I do not. E-Bean is fine but was admitted to the hospital last night. So I'm focusing on her getting better. 

Thanks for your understanding and I'll see you next week Wednesday!


Wednesday 5 November 2014

My apologies on #3

Hello everyone!

I hope you're all still with me! Post three was supposed to go live at 8am this morning, but it did not happen as I planned. 

Life usually never goes as planned. And instead of Sitting down with a cup of coffee and writing out post #3 on challenge #3 of I do the Diva I sat down with a sick little four year old. We ended up in the ER and spent our evening there. We were able to go home but are back this morning for more medication. 

If you're reading this, I hope you'll pop back again tomorrow for I do the Diva challenge #3. 

Have a most lovely day!

-Tara